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声明:使用这些方法时请自行承担风险。对于之后所发生的一切——不论是发生在你,你的隔间,还是你的车上——概不承担任何责任。 Leave a stack of old applications and a note saying, “Install these”
留一堆没用的旧软件和一张写着“安装这些”便条
Staple your reports in the wrong corner
用钉书钉订报告的时候订在错误的一角
Put tape over the mouse optics
在光学鼠标上粘上胶带
Unplug a co-worker’s monitor
拔掉某个同事的显示器接线
Talk to sick employees while wearing a dust mask
和生病的员工讲话时带上一个防尘面具
Turn your earphones up all the way
把你的耳机音量调到最大 从早到晚带着耳机
Burn popcorn in the microwave
用微波炉爆(焦)爆米花
“Forget” to put your tuna sandwich in the fridge
“忘记”在冰箱里放上你的金枪鱼三明治
Turn up the beep volume of the copier
把复印机“哔”的音量放大
Empty the paper out of the main printer/copier
清空打印机/复印机的纸
Empty the ink or toner out of the main printer/copier
倒空打印机/复印机的墨或炭粉
Practice beat boxing
练习节奏口技
Sing show tunes
唱舞台音乐剧
Hang up the phone before they say, “good bye”
在对方说再见之前挂断电话
Slurp hot coffee during meetings
开会的时候出声地啜热咖啡
Walk around the office barefooted
光脚在办公室里四处走
Empty out a co-workers office on a Friday afternoon
星期五下午把某个员工的办公室清空
Misplace peoples pens
把人们的笔放错地方
Insert a 3.5″ disk before they turn on their computer
在他们打开电脑之前插进一张软盘
Glue their mouse to the desk
把他们的鼠标粘在桌子上
Leave an open can of tuna in their desk
在他们桌上放一只开了封的金枪鱼罐头
Make a screenshot of their desktop and use it as their screensaver
把他们的电脑桌面截成一张图,然后把这张图设成屏保
Turn up the contrast on their monitor
把他们显示器的对比度调高
Talk in a funny accent
用可笑的口音说话
Use goofy event sounds for your programs
给你的电脑程序选用滑稽的事件提示音
Chant, “Yeay, I got mail!!” every time you get a new email
每次收到新邮件的时候高唱“yeay,我收到了邮件”
Print out a phony pink slip and leave It in their mailbox
打印一张假解聘通知书放到他们的信箱里
Send flowers from one co-worker to another
借某同事之名送花给另一同事
Start your car remotely when someone walk by it
有人经过的你的车时,用遥控器(远远的就)把你的车发动起来
Insist on people to have a great morning
坚决要求人们应该有一个美好的早晨
Leave hole punches all over
随处乱放打孔器
Leave your lunch garbage in other people’s cans
把你午餐过后的垃圾放进别人的罐头
After each sip give a refreshing, “Ahhh”
每啜一口都来一句惬意的“啊……”
Put salt on someone’s mouse pad
在别人的鼠标垫上撒盐
Set a password on someone’s screensaver
给别人的屏保设置密码
Carry on a conversation with someone two cubes down
坚持和两个隔间之外的人对话
Smirk when a co-worker walks by
在一个同事经过的时候傻笑
Eat half of someone’s lunch
把别人的午餐吃掉一半
Swap co-worker’s chairs
调换同事的椅子
Fake stomach flu during a meeting and need to abruptly leave three or four times
开会的时候假装急性肠胃炎,突然地离开三四次
Stare deeply into your co-workers eyes when they talk to you
当同事和你讲话的时候死死盯住他们的眼睛
Take all the ice out of the community freezer
把公用冷藏机里的冰都拿出来
Listen to comedy tracks and laugh hysterically
听搞笑段子并歇斯底里的大笑
Hit all the floor buttons when you leave the elevator
离开电梯之前把所有楼层的按钮都按一遍
Make hissing sounds into the phone and insist you have a bad connection
对着电话发出咝咝的声音,说是信号不好
Flip the left and right mouse button defaults
把默认的鼠标左右键倒装过来
Take out the ball in the mouse
取出鼠标里的滚珠
Eat sunflower seeds
吃瓜子
Tell a long story without a point
讲一个冗长且毫无主题的故事
Tell a co-worker you liked their hair better last week
告诉一个同事你更喜欢他们上一周时的头发
Anonymously send flowers to a random co-worker
匿名送花给随便哪一位同事
Bring Cheetos for food days
在食物交流日上带来的是Cheetos牌的零食
Drag your feet when you walk down the halls
拖着脚走过大厅
Exclaim your co-worker didn’t wash his hands when leaving the restroom
惊叫你的同事出洗手间时没洗手
Eat stinky foods when you have lunch at your desk
午饭时在你的桌上吃些臭烘烘的食物
Practice drumming on your desk
在桌子上练习敲鼓
Use too many paper clips
用超多回形针
Fill out your time sheets incorrectly
填错你的工作时间表
Set your mobile phone to an obnoxious ring tone
给你的手机设一个烦人的铃声
Forward chain letters and other spam to co-workers
给同事转发连锁信和别的垃圾邮件
Express your political views at length
长篇大论你的政治观点
Whisper loudly
大声讲悄悄话(吹口哨)
Come to work sick
生病也来上班
Drink the last cup of coffee without making a new pot
喝掉最后一杯咖啡,且不添一壶新的
Answer your mobile during meetings
开会的时候接电话
Stand over someone while they are on the phone
别人接电话的时候站在旁边监听
Sneak up behind someone
从后面突然吓别人
Mess with the thermostat
乱按一番调温器
Give everyone a pistol wink when they walk by
冲每个经过的人作手枪射击状
Gradually turn down the volume on someone’s phone
把某人电话音量逐渐调低
Leave unusual print outs on the printer
在打印机旁留几张内容诡异的打印件
Throw out other people’s prints
把别人的打印件扔掉
Juggle office supplies
用办公用品耍杂技
Write all your memos on bright colored paper
把你所有的备忘录写在颜色刺眼的纸上
Be overly nice to people
对人过分的亲热
Hide whiteboard erasers
藏起白板擦
Chew gum whie talking on the phone
讲电话时嚼口香糖
Regularly update everyone on the current weather
定时给每个人汇报当前天气
Read your emails aloud
大声读你的email
Leave the fridge open
不关冰箱门
Shake up cans of pop in the fridge
把冰箱里的汽水瓶摇一遍
Leave fingerprints on the copier glass
在复印机(打印机的)玻璃上留下指印
Whistle all day long
从早到晚吹口哨
Wear too much cologne/perfume
撒过多的香水
Type loudly
很响地敲键盘
Wear bright colored clothes
穿颜色刺眼的衣服
Give everyone a nickname from a TV show
拿电视剧里的名字给每个人起外号
Do the sneaky walk around the office
在办公室里鬼鬼祟祟的走
Peer over the cube and wait for a co-worker to look up and notice
向别的隔断张望,等着有人抬起头来注意到
Use the intercom and page yourself
擅自使用内部电话呼叫自己和记录
Swap the regular and decaf coffee
对换普通咖啡和脱咖啡因(无糖)咖啡
Hide the sugar and creamer
把咖啡里加的糖和奶藏起来
Type emails in uppercase and excessive punctuation
用大写字母写email,并且用n多标点
Refer to your garbage can as your in-box
称你的垃圾桶为收件箱
Stick pencils to the ceiling in other people’s offices
在别人办公室天花板上戳(粘)铅笔
Throw a bouncy ball in your office
在办公室里扔弹力球
Tell the same story over and over
一个故事翻来覆去的讲
Imitate regular sounds like a disc drive opening, door slamming or a mouse click
模仿诸如打开光驱,关门,或者点击鼠标的声音
Talk to your monitor as if it was a person
把你的显示器当成人一样对其讲话
Schedule meetings at 4:00pm
把会议的时间定在下午4点
Talk loudly with your earphones on when someone comes to talk to you
有人过来和你交谈的时候,戴着耳机大声说话。大声对着你戴的耳机讲话。
使用这些方法时请自行承担风险。对于之后所发生的一切——不论是发生在你,你的隔间,还是你的车上——概不承担任何责任。 |
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